The tradition of proposing with a round brilliant diamond set in a basic gold band ring purchased from Kay, Jared , or Tiffany is not for everybody. We're seeing a swell of interest in personalized jewelry with intentional design elements that prioritize handmade, responsible sourcing, and a bespoke experience working directly with an artist.
An engagement ring is something you want to get right the first time. Yet I have heard so many women share in private that they don't love their engagement ring or that they would have designed it differently. The fact that they feel reluctant to request their input or share this sentiment with their partner has a lot of implications. But it doesn't have to be that way. We have options to explore and we don't have to slog with tradition if it doesn't feel right.
“A proposal without a ring” is a deeply romantic, creative and respectful approach to asking your partner to marry you. It refers to a modern practice of proposing first and shopping or designing a ring together afterwards. We love this because it alleviates so much pressure and anxiety around ring design, and allows for a more interactive experience as a couple.
Designing becomes a collaborative effort often incorporating alternative stones, and bespoke metal alloys.
The proposal itself is deeply romantic and meaningful. Some people use a placeholder while others propose with simply words and emotion.
Here is some inspiration for a ring placeholder.
A simple band in gold or silver that can be kept as a keepsake.
A handmade object.
A stone or gold nugget.
A family heirloom - Could be a ring which can be worn as is or reset into a new design.
A handwritten note.
A promise to design a ring together. “I didn’t want to guess, I wanted us to design a ring together.”
Practicality - Designing your ring together after proposal eliminates the anxiety and pressure of presenting a ring your partner might not like. It also ensures the style and size are right. And it offers a more relaxed and thoughtful timeline to get the ring design right.
Romance and respect - It’s deeply romantic and symbolic of the relationship you are building together. The partner feels respected and included in a major life decision, doesn’t have to pretend to love a ring they don’t, and the design process becomes a shared memory and story of your love.
The act alone of proposing is an exciting opportunity to get romantic, playful and original, while nurturing mutual respect in the relationship and creative planning - Consider a location, preparing what to say, a photo opportunity of hand in hand, and a future of working together as a team.
